Well, now came the conversations about what type of adoption.
Did you know that there's more than domestic, international and foster-to-adopt programs? Yea, I didn't either.
Option 1: Domestic Infant Adoption through an agency
- Pros - You can adopt a newborn and get as close to the "full" experience as possible.
- Cons - Expensive, long wait times, risk of birth mother/father changing their minds, you the adoptive parent doesn't get to make the final decisions in the adoption plan (open, semi-open, or closed)
Option 2: Domestic Infant Adoption through a facilitator
- Pros - Can be fast, can be relatively inexpensive, you can still adopt a newborn
- Cons - BIG risks of fraud, can also take a long time, you have to put your info out there on the interwebz for all to see (this is the way many facilitation programs now run)
Option 3: Identified Adoption
- Pros - One of the most inexpensive options, get the newborn experience
- Cons - It's rare for adoptive parents to "find" their own birth mom without major hitches
Option 4: Foster-to-Adopt or direct adoption via the state
(these norms will vary from state to state)
- Pros - Almost free, children are readily available
- Cons - Risk of child being given back to parents or another relative high, very rare to get children under 5 years old, and did I mention the year long risk of the child being taken back????
Option 5: International Adoption
- Pros - You could be saving a child's life as well as giving them a loving family, travel experiences, very rarely are there birth parents/family issues
- Cons - Expensive, more paperwork than "normal" adoptions, have to jump though US hoops as well as the other countries hoops
Right now we're leaning towards option 5. Most of the reason being the first and last pro listed. For Mr.Slick, his fear is the birth parents experience (all the horror stories). We know those instances are rare, but it's something that was really important to him. And for me, the more I thought about it, the first pro listed sold me. These poor kiddos are living in awful conditions in orphanages most of the time and it seriously breaks my heart.
No, seriously. If you ever want a good cry fest hop on youtube.com and search for videos of overseas orphanages. It will tear you to pieces.