May 22, 2011


After five follie checks I still have not progressed any since CD 10. I am Clomid resistant. I'm not ovulating. I'm not producing large enough follicles. My body is saying screw you in a cruel, cruel way.

So, today after yet another follie check (it was really a final check to make sure I'm really not responding) we decided to cancel this cycle. I'm starting Provera to induce my period and we'll try again this summer. This giant almost equal to a mortgage payment experiment was a big fat failure.

May 8, 2011

These crazy lady moments brought to you by... Clomid!

So yea, clomid is making me into a crazy lady.

Scenario nĂºmero uno: Monday, 9:30ish am, in my classroom with a sweatshirt on. I was talking to my class, inspiring the minds of our youth! And it hits; the first hot flash. Oh mah gah. I started sweating and I'm sure my face was all sorts of red. I start fanning myself as my freezing students stare at me with bewilderment due to my cold classroom and my current position. The moment passes, their confused looks fade, but then I'm suddenly overcome with thought of "Oh shit, what if I have pit stains now!?!" Ya know, because that's important ::eyeroll::

Scenario part deaux: during my conference period at school when feeling overwhelmed with the day, I will sometimes fill my time with reading meaningless news articles and cruising Well on this day I came across this article about this family that was trying desperately to buy a house but they were sadly, being outbid everytime. So mom decided to make a change while submitting another offer on another house. This time se included a picture of her family with a letter about how much her kids loved the house and pool and how she and her husband wanted to raise their family there. Well, this worked and their offer was accepted even though it was $10,000 less than another offer. This had me BALLING! Like I couldn't stop those ugly tears. Then he bell rang and My students starte filing in. I frantically tried to cover my tears and hide myself but it didn't work. Cue second round of confused faces from students.

Oh thank you Clomid.

May 2, 2011


The vampires took two vials today. However this vampire was kind and didn't poke through my veins this time and cause unnecessary bruising. I also had the joy of losing my dignity this morning when I had a wonderful u/s on cycle day 3. Which means I was on my period for this, oh so lovely u/s. Let me just say ewww ::shudders:: However my lining was "perfect" and my ovaries were "lovely" as the RE said. At least I got a few compliments while losing all self respect I had for myself while on that table being violated by the dildo cam while on my period. ::shudders again::

I just got the call a few minutes ago that my cd3 bloodwork came back normal and I got a call from the specialty pharmacy that my Ovidrel (this is my trigger shot - it'll make me ovulate at a certain time) order was received and they'll call in a few days after they try to convince insurance to take it so I can go pick it up. So yea, I picked up the Clomid (this will help my follies grow at an appropriate pace) and we can really try this cycle. I mean REALLY.


May 1, 2011


Last night Mr.Slick and I were laying in our backyard, enjoying the sounds and smells of spring on a warm night and our newly laid grass. There were fireflies lighting up the backyard as the sun went down and darkness settled in. With Gunner in the middle and the smell of our rosemary, sage, and tomatoes, life couldn't have been much better than it was right then and there.

We started discussing our trying to conceive struggles and I asked him why he though God gave us this challenge. His answer was because He knew we could handle it. Well I of course knew that but I wanted a deeper answer. We both decided it was perhaps so we could help others who will face this similar battle and to ensure we always were appreciative of our gift once given to us.

We also discussed dreams we had for our future children. Not like, they'll win the Nobel Peace Prize or become rich kind of dreams but that maybe in 5-10 years we would be doing that exact same thing with our children. Laying in the grass on a warm spring night, maybe with jars chasing fireflies. Maybe with a tent and flashlights while roasting marshmallows. Those kind of dreams. It doesn't seem like they'll ever be real but we're still clinging to our little strand of hope thrown at us. That little strand is our upcoming invasive treatments. To some they might not seem so little but that's what they are to us. Small chances at a family.

However small, they're real. They're a possibility and we'll cling to those little pieces of hope until we can't anymore.

We're starting treatment cycle #1!

Which in actuality is really only cycle number 2 for us. How sad is that? We've been trying for 16 months and only ONE so far I've ovulated. There was only ONE chance so far in the almost year and a half.

Well, this cycle we're getting a REAL chance. The RE explained to Mr. Slick and I with our combined issues that we had a 2-4% chance of conceiving on our own - if I ovulate. Well with all the interventions she's providing us, we'll be brought up to a little better than normal. A perfectly healthy couple has about a 20% chance each cycle, and we'll be about at a 25% chance. I am beyond excited (even if I do have to give myself a shot)!

Tomorrow I go in for my baseline u/s to check my lining thickness and to make sure there aren't any cysts. They will also be taking some blood like the vampires they are ;-) I'll go back in in a week or so for another u/s to see how I responded to the medications and then possibly a few days after that if needed. Then somewhere around the the 2nd or 3rd u/s I'll give myself the shot to force all mature follices (eggs) to release.

Y'all, I can't describe how excited I am.