Apr 27, 2014

Who is really lucky?

I've been thinking about this for a while. And by a while, I mean about a year now. I just was having trouble really getting my thoughts out but I've been having some nightmares lately and they made me realize my true thoughts on this (I guess that's the silver-lining to my nightmares and sleepless nights, ha). 

He's so lucky. 

These comments about Little Slick or any adopted child. I hear them said to me and said to other families built through adoption; that the adopted child is lucky. 

I get what you mean, I really do. And I don't take offense to it because I understand your sentiment but many people don't understand when I try to deflect and instead point out that we are lucky and that lucky is not what he is. 

Luck would have been being born into his forever family. Luck would be birth families never lacking the funds, love, emotional support, etc. to keep their babies with them forever. Luck would be couples who wish to have babies can have them, and those who do not appreciate these gifts would not be given them. That would be luck. 

And describing adopted children as lucky implies they should be grateful, that Little Slick should be saying thank you to me for "saving" him. Perhaps he was saved in some sense, but we didn't do this for his gratitude. 

When you become a parent, you decide from that moment on to dedicate your life to your child(ren). You do not do so for your children to do that for you. You would die for them, kill for them, you decided this when you decided to parent your child. That's what a parent's love is, unwavering and daunting love. 

You owe it to your child to give them everything. No, I don't mean everything they want, but everything they need. Food, shelter, love, support - YOU, the parent must give that to them. They owe you nothing, but if your job is done right (usually) they pay it back to you eventually and someday they might pay it forward to their child/spouse/community. 

He is not lucky to have me, I am lucky to have him. I owe him for saving and fixing my broken heart, for showing me true joy, for giving me a chance to pay my love forward.

Can we all agree that I'm the lucky one to have this face to greet me every morning? 

So, there you have it, that's my take on the "lucky adopted kid" line that is so frequently thrown around. 

I'd love to hear from others about this, so let me have it!

Apr 23, 2014


It's National Infertility Awareness Week! If we're friends on Facebook, you've likely seen my #NIAW posts (sorry if you're already tired of them - if you are, leave now). 

So, why spread awareness about infertility? 
1 in 8 suffer with infertility. 1 in 8 is someone you know.

What is infertility? 
Infertility is a disease of the reproductive system.  It's recognized as a disease by The American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) and the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) and the World Health Organization (WHO). Approximately 30% of infertility is due to a female factor and 30% is due to a male factor. In the balance of the cases, infertility results from problems in both partners or the cause of the infertility cannot be explained.

What are risk factors for infertility? 
Weight, Age, STD's, Endometriosis (or a family history of this), DES exposure, smoking, drinking, other drug use, and many other things. 

What are the signs and symptoms? 
Having well timed sex for 1 year or more when under the age of 35 (woman age is typically the more "critical" age), or well timed sex for greater than 6 months for someone over 35. This 35 great-divide is due to decreased odds of pregnancy once a woman reaches advanced maternal age (AMA). But for many women their ovaries are "older than they appear" and some late thirties women have "spring chicken" ovaries. 

What should I do if I think I'm infertile? Who should I contact? 
If you've been having well-timed sex for a year, you should schedule a consultation with an infertility specialist, called a reproductive endocrinologist. This is NOT the same thing as an OBGyn (even if they call themselves fertility specialists). They are great at caring for mothers and babies, RE's are great at helping to make mothers and babies. 
Here's a link to a directory of RE's from Resolve: http://www.resolve.org/resources/directory-of-services.html or you can visit www.sart.org for more resources. 

You can also visit my Infertility Basics tab for more info: http://mrs-slick.blogspot.com/p/infertility-basics.html

Apr 13, 2014

Terrifyingly Exciting


I'm ready to share out loud and start documenting. 

We are hoping to expand our family again. We are talking with our agency again. 

Who knows, maybe Little Slick won't be the Littlest Slick in a year or so!

That's terrifying. And exciting. Mostly exciting. 

And you wanna see something terrifying? I forgot I had this picture and just found it while looking through my phone. This is Mr. Slick and Little Slick standing on the edge of a cliff. My eyes were like this O.O the whole time and I could barely breathe. 

I hope I have more to update on soon, but we're kind of just waiting to see what our options are and we're likely waiting to get serious about this until this summer anyway.