Mama

Since the day we picked you up from the orphanage, you have been my child. 

Since the day you set foot on American soil, you have been an American citizen. 

But it wasn't until 2 days ago that I was really your mama. You called me mama, of course, but until then you only came to me for food, comfort, to share a cool trick. All of those things awesome, but not necessarily  mama worthy. 




You were playing underneath the kitchen table. You had your snacks, your juice, a few toys/books all to keep you company. You'd call Gunner to come under with you and you'd share snacks and read to him. You were in your own perfect little 2 year old world. 

But that pesky table kept getting in your way. You'd stand up and bump your head. You'd back up and hit a chair, your tough little toddler head was protecting you from too much pain but it was clear it didn't feel good and you were getting frustrated. Once or twice you bumped it so hard, you came to me for a kiss or comfort but then you'd run back as quickly as you came. 

Then you bumped your head again. It wasn't so hard that I was worried you hurt yourself, I saw and heard it happen, it wasn't too bad. So I didn't immediately swoop in, I instead watched you from a distance to see how you'd react. 

You sat down, your shoulders rounded down in defeat, and then you turned around to me with tears welling up in your eyes with arms extended and yelled, "Mamaaaaaaaaaa!" 

That sight with the quiver in your voice made my feet move so fast to you. I picked you up and I loved how your tense little body softened as you nuzzled your face into my neck. You wrapped your arms around me and held me close. Your upset breathing became more regular and you calmed down with me. You let me hold you, rock you, and snuggle you for a long time. You didn't need me, you wanted me. You twirled my hair in your fingers and completely let go of the world. 

Then after a few minutes you picked up your head and held my face in your hands and you said it again, "Mama." But this time it was with calmness and a smile on your face. I said, "I love you" and you got a big grin and repeated back, "Wuv you!" and you kissed me and then wiggled down to the ground. 

It was then I became not only the person you called mama, I became your mama. Now the unprompted snuggles are more frequent, the kisses more often, and there's a softness in your voice when you say my name. 

I am your mama.