tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31698687853412349022023-11-16T02:41:57.199-08:00Love Needs No Translation - Mrs.SlickLove Needs No Translation -Mrs.SlickMrs.Slickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17603305212373454359noreply@blogger.comBlogger181125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169868785341234902.post-75047953430455728362015-08-06T08:23:00.001-07:002015-08-06T08:28:13.269-07:00The 5 Stages of Back to School Shopping<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Yesterday I took Little Slick school supply shopping. Y'all, he's going to kindergarten. </span><i style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">He's going to kindergarten. </i><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I have 18 more days with my little boy before he becomes a big boy, not that I've been keeping count or anything. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">As a teacher myself, I find great pleasure in shopping for school supplies. When those supplies show up in stores in July I have a rush of different emotions. The "Oh CRAP! It's coming, summer is <i>ending" </i>dread and then the, "YASSSSS! School supplies complete my soul!" kind of emotions. This year I experienced for the first time the trials of shopping for your own child. I've shopped for my "kids" before, meaning my students, but this was different. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>Here are the 5 stages of school supply shopping: </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">1. Where TF are the pencil boxes? Oh, there they are! Wait, they only have pink. So, then you try to convince your child that he wants pink. "Hey buddy! Look there are pink ones, pink is mama's favorite color!" Then you'll see the big child come out via an eyeroll. "Mama, I do NOT want a pink box."Of course, the other boxes are located across the store at the <i>other </i>school supply section. Which brings me to #2. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">2. You won't be able to find everything in the "Back to School" special section. Here's the thing stores, YOU HAVE THE LISTS! You even provide print outs of the lists for unprepared parents to use, WHY do you not use these lists to make sure all the needed supplies are in one spot? Anger will bubble inside you about this, dear shopper. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">3. They will entice your child with the brand-spankin-new backpacks and lunchboxes in plain sight. You will then try to convince your child that his perfectly fine backpack and lunchbox are the best thing since sliced bread. When that doesn't work, you bribe them with post-it notes. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">4. Glue sticks! There they are! We need two. Where's the two pack? Oh, I can only buy a ten pack, of course! Because we totally need 8 extra glue sticks around the house. They'll dry up or melt away before you can use them, by the way. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">5. Yes! We're done, let's get outta here! You go to the front, get in line (of course the slowest line on the face of the planet), and then you realize you forgot the quart sized zip up baggies. Of course you found and have the sandwich sized ones and you even have extras of those at home. But who keeps the quart sized ones at home? I don't. So now the great internal debate. Ditch your position in line to go trek back across the store to get the baggies, contemplate sending your 5 year old on his very first rogue mission but you quickly realize you don't want to damage his spirit as he's sure to fail or get "lost" in the toy section, or leave and come back another time. For baggies. Whatever it is you choose, it will be the wrong choice. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>Now, for a list of suggestions:</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">1. Buy extra tissues to give to the teacher. Those things are like gold in schools. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">2. Donate those extra glue sticks, you don't need them. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">3. Don't buy the pre-made packages of school supplies. They're crap and then your child will be doomed to have the EXACT same supplies as half the kids in their class. Sure, you think, "Oh, I'll put my kids name on it all!" Guess what? That doesn't matter, I once found out two kids had mixed up their spirals months prior and August - October was in the right spiral and then November - February they had done all their notes in the other person's spiral. Their names were written on the front and inside and NEITHER CHILD NOTICED. And I teach middle school. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">4. Don't worry on our first back to school shopping trip about crying for your baby that's growing up, you'll be too busy scouring the shelves to feel sorry for yourself. But you might cry on the way home. Shopping at Target where there's an in-house Starbucks helps. Because, you know, caffeine = happiness. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">5. It's okay if you cave and buy your kid a new backpack or lunchbox. Or both. Their pride on the first day of school will be worth it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Now, go drink your Starbucks and lie about "something being in your eye" as you realize your baby is another year older. </span></div>
Mrs.Slickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17603305212373454359noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169868785341234902.post-53727640216084495242015-04-09T18:21:00.000-07:002015-04-09T18:21:31.179-07:00Invisible Loss<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Adoption loss is often called the invisible loss. Adoption
is full of loss. The biggest is when a child loses their first family. Another
loss is the birth family losing their child. There is also loss of control,
hopes, and dreams from all aspects. But the loss I’m talking about today is the
loss of an adoption match.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">On November 26<sup>th</sup>, 2014, the two year anniversary
of our family day with Little Slick, we laid eyes on the most precious little
chunky baby picture. We just knew this would be Little Slick 2.0, we knew he
would be our son. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We were soon officially matched and so excited to be
starting the process of bringing another little one into our family! We
excitedly told family, including the new big brother to be. He was so proud of
his little brother and even gave him the nickname Goose, since his last name
sounded similar. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Our little Goose. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The paper work started to pile up, but we didn’t mind. We
knew what was at the end of this hurdle. The process for this country is
different than Russia’s, much less paperwork but more time. More waiting. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">One thing that was different is that for the home study,
they wanted to see the room where the baby would sleep. They wanted to see that
we had adequately prepared, even though it could still be a year or more until
we brought the little guy home. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">His room was set up, bed was made, toys delicately placed
around. Toys that his big brother had picked out for him from his personal
collection and a few he saw in the store that his baby brother just HAD to
have. All the items for his first care package were set aside, ready to send to
him as soon as our home study was finished. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>We were ready, just waiting. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We received each month’s well-baby check from our agency and
looked it over and gave to our pediatrician who reviewed it all with us. There
were some potential medical special needs but nothing that was too alarming and
we, along with our pediatrician, were optimistic. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We received a few pictures of him. He has round, chubby
cheeks and the biggest smile I've ever seen. His jet black hair is coming in
and the rolls. Oh, the rolls! Such delicious baby rolls. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">But, we’ll never get to meet him. I’ll never kiss those
cheeks, never squeeze those rolls. Our agency has rescinded our approval for
our adoption. We’d fallen in love with a boy we’ll never get to meet. As far as
we know, he’s still healthy and still waiting but we are no longer seen as the
right fit for him. While I understand the rule as a whole, I do think there
need to be special circumstances, especially for a child who has been waiting as
long as he has. He deserves better. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We have lost our son. Not through death, but a loss
nonetheless. We had to break our other
son’s heart and tell him the brother he was so excited to have cannot be his
brother after all. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">My grief, anger, and guilt are overwhelming. It’s sometimes
hard to function, in the beginning it was hard to get out of bed. I’m fortunate
enough to have a little person here who needs me to be strong for him,
otherwise I might fall apart. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Now for the why…</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"> Why are we now unfit?
It’s not just the agency, although they could have held our file longer, I have
conflicted emotions about that too. </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">How can I ask them to hold his file when perhaps his forever family, likely not us, can get started on the process and bring him home sooner? </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">And they could allow an exception to their birth order "rule" that they break all the time for other families. The country also has rules. They have a one year policy. Meaning there must be at least one year between children coming into the home. Very few allow
adoptions to proceed in circumstances like ours. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">You see, we found out on February 20<sup>th</sup> that we
are expecting a miracle baby. No more miraculous than a child coming into a
home through adoption, but a different kind of miracle, especially for us. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN3YRArQP_b8DHOisjAV6f_IdPLVmtiWB4pLF7Wu-pbcC7lBeCuvgg_GhBqsqoNUfgKdK6A7S_XUMVW7bKSxZsIa2on8bR9KcsH0FeZvrSnUpCBjaDMXeWQ507I14xQhyphenhyphenPPhD8uSdGDZs/s1600/FullSizeRender.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN3YRArQP_b8DHOisjAV6f_IdPLVmtiWB4pLF7Wu-pbcC7lBeCuvgg_GhBqsqoNUfgKdK6A7S_XUMVW7bKSxZsIa2on8bR9KcsH0FeZvrSnUpCBjaDMXeWQ507I14xQhyphenhyphenPPhD8uSdGDZs/s1600/FullSizeRender.jpg" height="247" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We gave up our dreams of a biological child three years ago.
After five and a half years, this is actually happening. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It’s strange and surreal to experience. And what should be
one of my greatest joys is also part of my greatest loss. But I’m still
grateful…and excited…and nervous. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">But for now I’m still mostly sad. I’ll get there though, I’m
desperately trying to choose joy but it’s really hard some days. Like the day I
tried to go mail Goose’s first and last care package from us. The only thing
he’d ever receive from us all nicely packed into a one gallon bag. I couldn't get out of the car. I couldn't make myself go inside. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">How do you
fit a lifetime of love into such a small package? </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiwTKFbve9BlkwwvM5liJNFrwEJxdI01hqZfdetDT-cyydqp7oSNxfjaSIh3Kyga3Or4qU_aIz-KkbgN9aefTfIePRAj3GvcSx0XNCVKwaqinfbFO9kGUkn8Bvx4s7AC1eigtx6DQgQGs/s1600/IMG_0830.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiwTKFbve9BlkwwvM5liJNFrwEJxdI01hqZfdetDT-cyydqp7oSNxfjaSIh3Kyga3Or4qU_aIz-KkbgN9aefTfIePRAj3GvcSx0XNCVKwaqinfbFO9kGUkn8Bvx4s7AC1eigtx6DQgQGs/s1600/IMG_0830.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I’m still processing all of this. WE are still processing
all of this. We love this little life inside of me, but we also love our sweet
little Goose, the boy we’ll never know. The range of emotions we feel is
strange and overwhelming but we’ll get through it, but never over it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>We love you, Goose. There will always be a place in my heart for you. </i></span></div>
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Mrs.Slickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17603305212373454359noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169868785341234902.post-32908547900773445702015-03-23T15:39:00.000-07:002015-03-23T15:39:10.197-07:00The K Word<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">::Gulp::</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Y'all, Little Slick is going to kindergarten. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We went to open house and registered him last week. I was an emotional wreck that day (and night) but held it together while we were there. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I'm adding this to the things I never thought I'd get to do category. Things I'm grateful to get to do, but man, it was hard! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">He is so excited, pumped to be exact. He tells EVERYONE about his new school and all the new friends he's going to make. And don't even ask him about the new playground he saw, he won't stop talking about it if you ask. So, don't ask! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">How can he be ready when I'm not? Most parents get 5 years to prepare for this, I only got 2. I wanted more time with my baby and now he's a big boy. He's GOING TO KINDERGARTEN! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I'll just be over here wallowing about my baby growing up so fast. Ignore me. Or bring me chocolate, your choice. </span><br />
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Mrs.Slickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17603305212373454359noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169868785341234902.post-88857311493029043902014-11-08T14:48:00.004-08:002014-11-08T14:48:59.865-08:00Preparing your children for Adoption Discussions<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I wish I could wrap him in a little bubble, protect him from the world. He's already seen the worst of so many adults, I hate to think he might see more bad. I hate to think of the day when he experiences more because he was adopted. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">He's already had some questions and concerning comments said to him, but nothing he couldn't handle and nothing that was meant to be hurtful. But the day will come when his story will be used as ammo against him. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Kids are mean. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">As a mother to an adopted child, I need to prepare him. Not say that people will say mean things about him and his story, but just fill him with so much pride and joy in his story that he knows no different. I also need to give him gentle re-directions that he can hand out when needed. I know the world is a cruel place, and he already does too. He just doesn't know that his current world is cruel too. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">But it shouldn't just be on me and on other parents who have children with a different story. This is the responsibility of any parent, to teach kindness instead of cruelty. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I need to change what I said earlier. <strike style="font-style: italic;">Kids are mean.</strike> No, <i>ADULTS are mean. </i>Where do you think they learn it from? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Recently we were out to eat at a family restaurant just me and the little guy. He was being precious, smothering me in kisses one minute, charming the server the next, playing quietly one minute with his play-do, and then practicing writing his name on his coloring sheet the next. I'll let all you parents know that this does not always happen, sometimes he's a terror, but he's well behaved more often than not. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Then this family came in and sat next to us. They looked like a normal family to me and then they started talking. One of their daughters made a different choice than her family. I don't know what the choice was but I could tell it was a trivial choice, like her meal choice for the night and her family thought now would be a good time to make fun of her. I've been there, families give each other hard times, no big deal. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The mother: "We forgot to tell you that you're so different than the rest of us because you're adopted"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Family: <i>They all laugh</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The father: "Yeah, you know how those adopted kids are!"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Family: <i>Laughter again </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Why was this okay? Why is it that calling someone adopted is a dig or a negative thing? And "those adopted kids" - you mean like the wonderful one that was sitting right next to you? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Lucky for this family, I did not ask them to please watch their conversations due to little "adopted" ears that are close by as the server came to take their orders and they switched to another topic. And even luckier, my little guy wasn't paying even a little bit of attention as he was too wrapped up in his imagination and was building towers with his crayons. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Parents, don't tell your children they're adopted as a joke. <i>It's not funny. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Don't give them the impression that adopted means less loved or not normal. Don't let them think that it makes someone bad or different, it just means one thing; <i>they were chosen. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Children only have bad attitudes about topics such as these when their parents do. And parents only have these bad attitudes when they were taught them. <i>STOP IT. Stop it now. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">This isn't okay. This isn't funny. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">And next time, this Mama Bear will ruin your nice family dinner. </span><br />
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<a href="http://brendamjones.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/mamabear.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://brendamjones.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/mamabear.jpg" height="217" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-size: xx-small;">This picture was found on Google. Click the pic for credits. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">For another thoughtful post about this, visit here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rachael-quinn-egan/teach-your-children-about-adoption-before-releasing-them-on-the-playground_b_6061714.html</span><br />
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Mrs.Slickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17603305212373454359noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169868785341234902.post-77489895844689625542014-11-06T12:31:00.001-08:002014-11-06T12:31:38.282-08:00National Adoption Month!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";">November is the BEST! It's National Adoption Month! It's also the month we became a forever family, so I might be a little biased :)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";">What
is adoption? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";">The
word adopt has many meanings. From dictionary.com, I found one I like:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/adopt">adopt – to choose or take as one’s
own</a></span><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";"><br /></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";">And
you know what’s funny? This definition wasn’t even talking about adopting a
child, this one was talking about adopting an item or new nickname. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";">When
you choose to adopt you choose to forever hold, love, and cherish that child as
your own. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Adoption is love.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Adoption is a choice.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Adoption is hard.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Adoption is (most of the time)
expensive).<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Adoption is a long process.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Adoption is giving children what they
deserve; love and support.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Adoption is worth it.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";">There
are also some misconceptions about adoption. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Adoption
isn’t temporary.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Adoption
isn’t second best. It might not have been a family’s first attempt but it’s
never 2<sup>nd</sup> best.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Adoption
isn’t loving someone less.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Adoption
isn’t for everyone (but I wish more people would consider it!).<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";">Are
you considering adoption? Are you considering placing a child for adoption?
Reach out! I’d love to talk or visit one of these resources below. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";"><a href="http://www.resolve.org/family-building-options/adoption/">http://www.resolve.org/family-building-options/adoption/</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";"><a href="http://www.nationaladoptionday.org/">http://www.nationaladoptionday.org/</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";"><a href="http://www.adoptioncouncil.org/">http://www.adoptioncouncil.org/</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif";">And if you need proof of how awesome adoption really is, just check out this awesome little dude. He is definitely worth every single hard part of this process!</span></div>
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Mrs.Slickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17603305212373454359noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169868785341234902.post-5842742876436743972014-09-20T19:39:00.001-07:002014-09-20T19:39:32.598-07:00I'm so very thankful.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 24.375px;">“There is so much loss wrapped up in adoption that it is unfair to ask a child to be thankful.” – </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 15px; line-height: 24.375px;">Brooke Randolph</span></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Over the last year and a half (almost two!) Little Slick has spoken so very little about Russia and the orphanage. Tonight while tucking him into bed he asked me about the lady with the green car (our facilitator and all those babies guardian angel!) and if she took him to the hospital (yes, she took him after our first trip and he was there for about a month). </span></div>
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<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">And then he said something I didn't know, he asked if I knew the two "big old ladies" that used to take care of him and the other children. When I said that I only met them once, he said they would sometimes bring all the children candy and everyone would eat it so fast that it was gone before everyone had theirs. He then kissed me and said goodnight.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I'm so thankful those ladies gave my baby a good memory. He deserves the good since he's lost so much. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">And after that I was just a ball of mush and tears. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I know they'll never read this and I'll never be able to properly thank them, but I hope they know what a difference their care and love made and perhaps still makes if they are still watching those sweet babies. I saw how much he loved them, how his sweet face lit up when it was time for him to go back to them. And I saw how their hard faces softened and they held their hands down to lead him back, oh so gently. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Thank you for loving him. Thank you for giving this sweet face a smile when you could. </span></div>
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Mrs.Slickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17603305212373454359noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169868785341234902.post-15317766542285031082014-06-10T21:25:00.000-07:002014-06-10T21:25:46.074-07:00Wondering<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I wonder about you. Do you ever wonder about me? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I know, without a doubt that you wonder about him, the boy that forever connects us. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I wonder what you look like, how tall you are. I'm betting you're tall because he is tall. But who knows? Do you also love pickles and cheeseburgers? Are cheeseburgers even a thing in Russia? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Do you bite your fingernails or is that something he picked up on his own? Does your hair get wild when you sleep too? What about those freckles, where did they come from? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Did you sing him to sleep? Did you kiss his cheeks a million times a day too? These are the things I want to know, I don't want to know the other things, the things that most people ask me; the things about why I am his forever mama and you are his first mama. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Some people say things like, "You're his real mom!" and they're right. I am his real mama and I am his forever mama but you were his first mama and you are real too. You hold pieces of him, secrets that I'll never know. But then again, I hold some too. I wish I had all the answers for him, I wish I could give him more. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I'm saddened for your loss, maybe more than I "should" be, but I don't know how to stop feeling like I do. Someone close to me called this survivor's guilt, and maybe it is a little bit of that. But more so I think it's just my love for him. Because you are part of him and he's part of you. You are part of his story, so I'll always keep you in thoughts and constantly be...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">wondering.</span><br />
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Mrs.Slickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17603305212373454359noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169868785341234902.post-58542189971469023712014-04-27T11:22:00.002-07:002014-04-27T11:22:56.889-07:00Who is really lucky? <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I've been thinking about this for a while. And by a while, I mean about a year now. I just was having trouble really getting my thoughts out but I've been having some nightmares lately and they made me realize my true thoughts on this (I guess that's the silver-lining to my nightmares and sleepless nights, ha). </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>He's so lucky. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">These comments about Little Slick or any adopted child. I hear them said to me and said to other families built through adoption; that the adopted child is lucky. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I get what you mean, I really do. And I don't take offense to it because I understand your sentiment but many people don't understand when I try to deflect and instead point out that <i>we </i>are lucky and that lucky is not what he is. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Luck would have been being born into his forever family. Luck would be birth families never lacking the funds, love, emotional support, etc. to keep their babies with them forever. Luck would be couples who wish to have babies can have them, and those who do not appreciate these gifts would not be given them. That would be luck. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">And describing adopted children as lucky implies they should be grateful, that Little Slick should be saying thank you to me for "saving" him. Perhaps he was saved in some sense, but we didn't do this for his gratitude. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">When you become a parent, you decide from that moment on to dedicate <i>your</i> life to your child(ren). You do not do so for your children to do that for you. You would die for them, kill for them, you decided this when you decided to parent your child. That's what a parent's love is, unwavering and daunting love. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">You owe it to your child to give them <i>everything. </i>No, I don't mean everything they want, but everything they need. Food, shelter, love, support - YOU, the parent must give that to them. They owe you nothing, but if your job is done right (usually) they pay it back to you eventually and someday they might pay it forward to their child/spouse/community. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">He is not lucky to have me, I am lucky to have him. I owe him for saving and fixing my broken heart, for showing me true joy, for giving me a chance to pay my love forward.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Can we all agree that I'm the lucky one to have this face to greet me every morning? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So, there you have it, that's my take on the "lucky adopted kid" line that is so frequently thrown around. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I'd love to hear from others about this, so let me have it!</span></div>
Mrs.Slickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17603305212373454359noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169868785341234902.post-90053879910744925342014-04-23T20:11:00.002-07:002014-04-23T20:14:12.008-07:00NIAW<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It's National Infertility Awareness Week! If we're friends on Facebook, you've likely seen my #NIAW posts (sorry if you're already tired of them - if you are, leave now). </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>So, why spread awareness about infertility? </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>1 in 8 suffer with infertility. 1 in 8 is someone you know.</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>What is infertility? </b></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Infertility is a disease of the reproductive system. </i></span></span><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i> It's recognized as a disease by </i></span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>The American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) and the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) and the World Health Organization (WHO). </i></span></span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;"><i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Approximately 30% of infertility is due to a female factor and 30% is due to a male factor. In the balance of the cases, infertility results from problems in both partners or the cause of the infertility cannot be explained.</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>What are risk factors for infertility? </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Weight, Age, STD's, Endometriosis (or a family history of this), DES exposure, smoking, drinking, other drug use, and many other things. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>What are the signs and symptoms? </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Having well timed sex for 1 year or more when under the age of 35 (woman age is typically the more "critical" age), or well timed sex for greater than 6 months for someone over 35. This 35 great-divide is due to decreased odds of pregnancy once a woman reaches advanced maternal age (AMA). But for many women their ovaries are "older than they appear" and some late thirties women have "spring chicken" ovaries. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>What should I do if I think I'm infertile? Who should I contact? </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>If you've been having well-timed sex for a year, you should schedule a consultation with an infertility specialist, called a reproductive endocrinologist. This is NOT the same thing as an OBGyn (even if they call themselves fertility specialists). They are great at caring for mothers and babies, RE's are great at helping to make mothers and babies. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Here's a link to a directory of RE's from Resolve: </i></span><span style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>http://www.resolve.org/resources/directory-of-services.html or you can visit www.sart.org for more resources. </i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">You can also visit my Infertility Basics tab for more info: http://mrs-slick.blogspot.com/p/infertility-basics.html</span></div>
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Mrs.Slickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17603305212373454359noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169868785341234902.post-9515651697858120582014-04-13T07:18:00.000-07:002014-04-13T07:18:09.850-07:00Terrifyingly Exciting<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Okay.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I'm ready to share out loud and start documenting. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We are hoping to expand our family again. We are talking with our agency again. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Who knows, maybe Little Slick won't be the Littlest Slick in a year or so!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">That's terrifying. And exciting. Mostly exciting. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">And you wanna see something terrifying? I forgot I had this picture and just found it while looking through my phone. This is Mr. Slick and Little Slick standing on the edge of a cliff. My eyes were like this O.O the whole time and I could barely breathe. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZWMHEJcJ0-g2VBPHWIPvISd_ei2MIyyjlKJ-xh_ISBrhlRUvjVTCXGNWp2HpSZ5RX9k_pSBQVpX4Y2NHz5xAhJp7ZjGeBDcqZcYWT8x6hu4611yLkNh5hKyG-44-z9Bw4YAAprPEN8ac/s1600/IMG_5170.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZWMHEJcJ0-g2VBPHWIPvISd_ei2MIyyjlKJ-xh_ISBrhlRUvjVTCXGNWp2HpSZ5RX9k_pSBQVpX4Y2NHz5xAhJp7ZjGeBDcqZcYWT8x6hu4611yLkNh5hKyG-44-z9Bw4YAAprPEN8ac/s1600/IMG_5170.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I hope I have more to update on soon, but we're kind of just waiting to see what our options are and we're likely waiting to get serious about this until this summer anyway. </span></div>
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Mrs.Slickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17603305212373454359noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169868785341234902.post-35281148294079291002014-03-21T06:52:00.000-07:002014-04-13T07:11:49.464-07:00Yikes, it's been a while!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So, it's spring break which means I get some time with my favorite little boy! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We had some adventures this week. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVl6r8YVjVoN_bSsqvrEUhY4rZqMpvdImmqOwHlKEMJ9hYnkJMmK9eIBsLp5IZh5RJr5h5YaWcDh6TAWBRTcLdwy-8xivSs5bStM50r2XlpVj2xrfw9NqFNwjObVDE-cHl9KJv8qMLxdo/s1600/IMG_5347.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVl6r8YVjVoN_bSsqvrEUhY4rZqMpvdImmqOwHlKEMJ9hYnkJMmK9eIBsLp5IZh5RJr5h5YaWcDh6TAWBRTcLdwy-8xivSs5bStM50r2XlpVj2xrfw9NqFNwjObVDE-cHl9KJv8qMLxdo/s1600/IMG_5347.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We went to story time at the library. </span><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We went to the zoo. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We went shopping where we had an <i>epic</i> meltdown. It was a good one, y'all. People that witnessed it will be telling their families about it, kind of epic. So, sorry Kroger patrons, please remember that little ones sometimes don't get much sleep at night and then don't understand that because of that they NEED a nap. I don't have a picture of that, but I do have a picture of what we did after we got home to wind down...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">There's something calming about us building our racetrack, and just setting up the cars to race around. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Anyways, the real exciting thing is that PAWPAW AND MOOMOO ARE COMING!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">My parents are on their way and this little dude is beside himself with excitement. I love how much he loves our parents and I love that he has grandparents to spoil him now! He deserves it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">While we waited, we went to the park. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">This little dude could swing forever. And ever, and ever. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I have seriously loved all this time with my boy and as much as I love my job, I don't wanna go back :(</span><br />
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Mrs.Slickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17603305212373454359noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169868785341234902.post-33604832957796974232013-12-27T06:52:00.000-08:002014-04-13T06:52:42.183-07:00Our 2nd Christmas, first real one!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Last Christmas was our first one but it wasn't a <i>real </i>Christmas. We were still kind of secluded and bonding with each other, so we didn't do anything really, with our families. And Little Slick didn't really understand. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Well, he <i>got it </i>this year. We went to see Santa, we read books about the real meaning of Christmas, he asked questions about baby Jesus, he excitedly said his night-night prayers (and snuck in some of these gems: "Dear God and Jesus, please tell Santa I want a giant excuvator" or "Please tell Santa I was good and that I love big excuvators")</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">And then something magical was found on woot.com and this was waiting for the little boy on Christmas morning. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2cYeqfxR0vR5Hk7kIZocMGQyWIwGoIiXibYL9kvV_RGi8uXb5URgH-wMTLhIzNlJ-BEveYTX9N3_CQL5LPyNvcDc5b7l2E6UE9KSaN-TG_9CHUv9Vm1mcuoZiH0oVNTmqDBqKA_FDETI/s1600/excuvator.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2cYeqfxR0vR5Hk7kIZocMGQyWIwGoIiXibYL9kvV_RGi8uXb5URgH-wMTLhIzNlJ-BEveYTX9N3_CQL5LPyNvcDc5b7l2E6UE9KSaN-TG_9CHUv9Vm1mcuoZiH0oVNTmqDBqKA_FDETI/s1600/excuvator.jpg" height="320" width="243" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Yes, that's a giant, ride-on bulldozer with excuvator. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">And this was the result Christmas morning. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcZBrzOxkNJtD-Ma4PwFr40E_sbkEWvPZLOIZVMefTROGFMD41KCHroiqGXyPFatkqJ4kDrgRD-ul3zU0hlN5iMmoGH1WIkI-Z7Y7fuiiobh08ODNu66_wypFfkAXP6VcH1DecXegQKzE/s1600/exc+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcZBrzOxkNJtD-Ma4PwFr40E_sbkEWvPZLOIZVMefTROGFMD41KCHroiqGXyPFatkqJ4kDrgRD-ul3zU0hlN5iMmoGH1WIkI-Z7Y7fuiiobh08ODNu66_wypFfkAXP6VcH1DecXegQKzE/s1600/exc+2.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It's not very often that you get to witness pure joy. Our little boy was SO proud, so in-love, so joyful. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">He now loves digging in our yard and flower beds, he loves telling people about this, he just loves it. </span></div>
Mrs.Slickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17603305212373454359noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169868785341234902.post-43918010861065331222013-12-05T06:37:00.000-08:002014-04-13T06:37:26.532-07:00In just a year...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Little Slick has mastered a new language.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">He has grown almost 7 inches.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">He has gained almost 15 pounds (and he's still skinny!)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">He has stopped hoarding food and his toys. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">He has learned to (mostly) sleep through the night.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">He now LOVES ice cream. We seriously thought he would never like cold things. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">He can walk into the pediatrician's office and not immediately cry. I mean, he <i>does </i>still make the window's shake from his screams when he gets his shots, but that's getting better. And as soon as they're done, he goes, "Ok, can I have a sucker and sticker?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">He LOVES the water - bath and swimming. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">He has learned to love snuggles and affection. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">He has learned to be wary of strangers. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">He has learned that we're forever, this family is forever, this is the real deal kid! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I can't believe how far we've come in a year!</span></div>
Mrs.Slickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17603305212373454359noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169868785341234902.post-11443092956754713962013-11-03T18:59:00.001-08:002013-11-03T18:59:29.227-08:00ABC's and 123's<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Big news 'round these parts, y'all. Little Slick is in school. He's in preschool. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">::cue tears::</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Two weeks ago, we went shopping. We went shopping for a back pack, lunch box, thermos, the works. As we were looking through all the backpack options, I had to work hard to fight back tears. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">1. My baby is going to preschool!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">2. There was a time I never thought I'd get to experience these things, these things many forget are so precious. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">3. He was ready. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">When we brought him home I insisted on a daycare option that looked nothing like an orphanage. No large centers, no preschool type settings. I wanted warm and cozy in a house. I didn't want him to feel like I was taking him to another orphanage. He knows was true abandonment feels like, even if it just lasted that first day, I didn't want him to ever think I was leaving him like he had already been left. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Around March of this year I contacted a few places to put him on the wait lists. I knew it could take a long time for a spot to open up, especially since many of these places have had these children on their lists since their mother's found out they were pregnant. Much to my surprise, I received notification that there was a spot! And that spot was opening up on 10/29. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We got everything ready and I even took the day off from work so I could be the one to do drop off/pick up on his first day instead of our daycare provider. The night before I packed his lunch and he helped me write his name on his lunchbox and backpack. I successfully held in all tears that night. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The morning of, we drove to his new school and we talked about making good choices and listening to directions from our teachers and about all the new friends he was going to meet. He was <i>so </i>excited. We got there early so we could meet his teachers and he could check things out a little before everyone else got there. As we walked down the long hallway, I could feel the pip in his step but could also feel how tightly he held my hand. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">His teachers are amazing and were very understanding when I explained, without too much detail, how he panics when he's hungry sometimes and he will sometimes hide food - just a few residual orphanage behaviors. They kindly told me that they'd make sure to be on the lookout for any signs of this and wrote down a few things I was saying. Being a teacher, I hated being <i>that </i>parent, but I've learned that there's nothing wrong with being that parent from time to time. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We saw his hook for his backpack and his cubby for his lunch and then it was time to go down to the cafeteria where all the kids gather in the morning. We walked back down the long hallway, his teachers asking him questions and him excitedly answering, but he still clung tightly to my hand. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">They showed him where he was to sit when he arrived and he obediently sat down. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I knew he would. I knew he would remember this type of order and rules. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The other children started coming in and I went to give him a hug. He smiled so big, so proud, and gave me a big hug. But when I said I was going he asked, "But why don't you stay, Mama? Please?" </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">"I have to go but you can stay and play with your new friends all day and have fun with your new teachers!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">"Ok Mama. Will you pick me up later?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">"Yes malyutka, I'll be here later."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">With another smile and hug from him I knew it was time for me to go. <i>He was ready.</i> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">And I then took the 1st day of preschool walk of shame - the one where the Mama walks back to her car and doesn't even try to fight back her tears. </span></div>
Mrs.Slickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17603305212373454359noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169868785341234902.post-28030641224075551752013-10-09T19:25:00.003-07:002013-10-09T19:25:58.872-07:00This awkward moment brought to you by the letter B. <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">B as in bathroom. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Not too long ago Little Slick and I were on the way to visit some family across state. Mr. Slick couldn't come so the little dude and I were on our own for a 5-ish hour car ride. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">As you can guess, we had a few bathroom stops. Two were false alarms, three were real. This awkward moment happened on the second false alarm stop. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We were at a busy stop between our destinations that typically has clean restrooms (I will go out of my way and wait longer than necessary for clean places) and another mom was there waiting with her little one. This little girl was about Little Slick's height, maybe a little shorter, and they were being goofy together. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The mom and I then exchanged polite smiles and we asked each other how old our kids were. Her's was 5 so I asked the little girl if she was in kindergarten and if she liked to read (in case you're wondering the answer to both of those is yes). And then the other mom asked how old Little Slick was and she was shocked when I said 3. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">"Oh wow! He's a tall thing, isn't he?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">"He is pretty tall."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">"I thought he must be older"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">::door to bathroom opens and it's our turn to go in but other mom squeezed in one last question::<br /><br />"Is his daddy tall?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">And here's where I made it awkward. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Without thinking, I responded, "I don't know, maybe!" and then smiled and closed the door. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It was about 30 seconds in, while pleading with Little Slick to pee because he HAD TO GO RIGHT NOWWWWWW, that I realized what I said and how it must have sounded. We walked out after an unsuccessful potty attempt and I just gave a sheepish smile. There wasn't really any recovering from that moment so we just booked it outta there as fast as possible. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So, to the random woman and child waiting in line with us that day, please know that I have a different reason than you probably think for not knowing specifics. And please know that it wasn't me or Little Slick who made the bathroom smell like that in there either. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Kindly, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Mrs. Slick</span></div>
Mrs.Slickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17603305212373454359noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169868785341234902.post-32160922223324951062013-09-17T18:38:00.001-07:002013-09-17T18:38:45.419-07:00Still a little bit of sadness<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">My heart is breaking for my little boy tonight. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Most nights at night-night time, we do stories. Sometimes for these stories we tell his story, our coming home story, where our two stories met, etc. Most nights he smiles and giggles as we tell about silly things we remember. Sometimes he barely pays attention as we talk about he grew in another mommy's tummy and lived with her and then later with lots of other children. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We sometimes look at pictures or videos of our time in Russia and he happily flips through telling us what he was doing. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">And then there are nights like tonight. Nights that when he crawls into bed he's sad. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">"Where is her, Mama?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">"Where is who, baby?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">"Where is her? My other mamas, my other babushkas? My kids too? My tummy cold and sad over there, Mama."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It's night's like tonight that remind me a little too much of where he was before us. He still grieves the loss of his other mama's, the women who cared for him in the orphanage and the children he was being raised with there. He remembers being hungry and all those feelings. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So, we talk about his other mama's and babushka's and tonight he wanted me to know one of his babushkas had black hair and she gave him candy. I'll never get to thank her for giving him good memories. Whenever he has sad nights like this, we talk about whatever it is, I don't mind. I love hearing what his little mind remembers and when he twists his memories into something more(apparently once he built a snowman with his babushka and Mr. Slick and I were apparently there too, lol). I want him to talk about it, I want him to know it's okay to talk about it. I want him to know it's okay to be sad about it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I'm sometimes not grateful for all I have, but my boy reminds me of the wonderful things I have, starting with him. I hate it when he's sad but I am grateful he even has some of these smidgens of memories. His sadness is part of his story but it's not who he is, not anymore. </span></div>
Mrs.Slickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17603305212373454359noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169868785341234902.post-88080770080268669992013-09-11T19:17:00.003-07:002013-09-11T19:17:58.945-07:00I'm about to get up on my high horse, y'all. <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Pretty much everyone we meet or know has an adoption story of sorts. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>"Oh my sister's best friend was adopted!"</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>"Oh, my 3rd grade teacher adopted her son!"</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>"My next door neighbor's brother-in-law's best friend's wife was adopted!"</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Ok, I may have stretched that last one but I have heard things similar. But those kind of things don't bother me. I actually love them. It reminds me and those saying it that adoption isn't super uncommon, that it isn't taboo to talk about, that it's a normal way to build a family. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">But what bothers me are all the negative stories. These stories seem to run rampant through media outlets, while the thousands and thousands of good adoption stories for each of those bad, goes unnoticed and gets no spotlight. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I recently saw a report about international adoption disruptions. And the story was sickening. It made me literally sick to think of the poor girl at the center of that story. The one who thought she had found her forever family, only for them to realize too late that they were not well equipped to care for her. They gave her away to another couple, without involving their agency or social workers, by just drawing up paperwork and them signing it and dropping her off. They dropped her off with criminals, people who would already hurt a damaged heart. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">This story makes me so angry because it makes it sound like these "parents" had no other option, like they had tried everything. It almost painted them as victims. There was one victim in that story and it sure wasn't them. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">But they had options, much better options. Do disruptions happen? Yes. They're obviously not ideal and they are incredibly few and far between, but they happen. However, there are ways to ensure that these children go to their true forever homes. Placing agencies would be more than willing to help counsel families, provide resources, and if truly needed, help find the child's true forever family. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Disruptions can happen for many reasons. The family may not have been truly ready to adopt. They may have misunderstood the magnitude of their child's special needs (any IA can and should be considered a special needs situation while emotional wounds heal), their agency may not have been forthcoming in the child's true needs (this is rare), or other reasons. Whatever the reason, a family shouldn't consider a disruption until they have exhausted all resources. And even if <i>their </i>placing agency isn't willing to help, ANY agency/social worker could be contacted and help be provided some way or another. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Parenthood isn't easy on anyone. Everyone has their trying times with it. Some people have the delusion that when they bring this child home, that all their hurt will melt away, that they will be better instantly and that's not the case. It takes time to build trust, it takes trust to build love, and it takes love to build your family. Give it time. Bond with your new baby, even if that baby is 3 or 13. He deserves parents who will go all in and be the parents he deserves. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">If you're having a hard time with your (adopted) child, talk to your social worker, email the help desk at your agency, ask for contact information from other families who have been through similar situations (I can almost guarantee you aren't the first and won't be the last family in that situation your agency has seen), and if none of them help, keep looking! </span></div>
Mrs.Slickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17603305212373454359noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169868785341234902.post-81343298614443522292013-08-05T11:08:00.003-07:002013-08-05T11:08:55.664-07:00Rite of passage<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Today I got to experience what is a normal rite of passage for new mothers. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Little Slick had surgery today. Well, two small surgeries. They were very minor and planned but that didn't help my worrying mind. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">We woke up at 4:15 after next to no sleep for me and Mr.Slick since nerves got the best of us. We got to the hospital around 5:30 and after some waiting and signing of forms we were in a </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">room with our little guy. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">He charmed</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> all the nurses instantly and was having a ball hiding under his blanket and playing with whoever was close enough. And let me tell you, it is<em> hard</em> to keep a three year old little boy, who doesn't sit still, from flashing everyone his little booty when only in a hospital gown! I'm pretty sure all of pre-op saw a full moon!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">And then it was time for him to be wheeled back. He was having a blast while the anesthesiologist and nurse wheeled him fast and crazy down the hall yelling "choo choo!" and "vroom vroooom!" but when he had to let go of my hand and say bye-bye to me, he suddenly realized he was going in there, without me, without his papa, and that this was serious. He cried and clung to me. I instantly teared up too but kissed my sweet boy and told him "After while, crocodile!" I pried my hands from his, gave him another kiss on the forehead and whispered that I loved him as they wheeled him off. He looked back and told me he loved me too and they closed the doors. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">I'm sure the nurses see it a lot, but they all looked at me with sympathy and a few offered me tissues as I walked back down that long hallway towards where we had to leave Mr.Slick. The pre-op nurse even teared up a little when she saw me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">We then went back into the waiting room, I guzzled two cups of coffee and after only about 45 minutes our buzzer went off and we were whisked into a consult room to speak with surgeon numb</span><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">er 1, since his surgery was done. And much to our relief, all went well. It was only about another 30 minutes before the second surgery was done and only about 15 minutes later until we were able to see our boy. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">He was super sleepy but happy to see us. The nurses said he refused to fall back asleep until we were back there :( We stayed in recovery for about 2 hours until he was finally awake enough for them to take out his IV and send us home. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">It was then, I got to experience something I never thought I would get, something I never knew I wanted, something that I wish had happened under different circumstances, but something that was very special for me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">I was wheeled out to my waiting husband with my sleepy baby in my arms, ready to take him home. It's hard to imagine how much just that simple wheel chair ride can impact you but I was taking my baby home. My baby who is 3 years old and who recently broke the 30 pound threshold. My big boy who will always be my baby. </span></div>
Mrs.Slickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17603305212373454359noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169868785341234902.post-36250719516868142132013-07-08T15:04:00.000-07:002013-07-08T15:04:46.536-07:00Things I wish someone had told me about adopting a toddler/preschooler...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We have received tremendous support along the way, bringing Little Slick home. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We received excellent assistance on paperwork, attachment and bonding (by far the most important thing!), social norms for where we were travelling, travel tips with a little one, ways to help Little Slick learn English, and many other things. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">But I still felt, like many parents, grossly under-prepared. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">There are newborn care classes at almost every hospital, where parents-to-be learn how to feed, bathe, soothe, life-saving techniques, safety measures, etc. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">When adopting an older child, you're just kind of thrown in the trenches. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Yes, toddlers and preschoolers require less "gear" than newborns but they still have needs. Many couples adopting "older" children are not thrown showers or given gifts (not that it's required or necessarily expected - it's just the norm for pregnant parents to receive these things) and if they are thrown showers/given gifts, it's usually toys. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>Here's a list of things you'll need:</b></span><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Convertible car seat or booster seat - Check out this site for more details: </span><a href="http://www.seatcheck.org/">http://www.seatcheck.org</a></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Did you know you can (and if possible SHOULD) bring this with you when you bring your little one home. Yes, even on the plane!</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Don't ever buy a used seat or let a kind-hearted soul give you an old one either. Just don't. </span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Toddler bed (maybe still a crib) or something for them to sleep on</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Seems like a no-brainer but still needs to be said! </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Look into something that will last a few years or something that will last for another little one down the road.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">If you're unsure what your new arrival is interested in, get basic sheets/bedding until they're settled and then let them go with you to pick out their new bedding!</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Mattress pad/pee protectors - even if potty trained already, many children regress or just have accidents. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Go ahead and have grandma make that baby blanket she's been itching to make. Even though it's not something you'll swaddle your new little one in, it's something they'll love to snuggle. </span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Booster seat for the dinner table</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">You may want placemats too. I'm afraid my table may never recover from our first spaghetti and meatballs experience.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Bibs! Little Slick still gets put in one with some meals...like spaghetti.</span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Plates/Silverware/Cups</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Little ones are unsteady and have small hands - accommodate them with things their size!</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Even at 3 years old, we'll likely be using sippy cups for a while. Get a few brands/kinds to see what you like. </span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">And with these sippy cups/small things you'll still want a bottle brush to help clean them!</span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">You may want a few bottles to help some of the little ones learn to suck and a bottle a night is great for bonding. </span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Clothes/Shoes</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">If you're unsure of sizes, go to a local consignment store and buy up and down the size you think before you make commitments with anything pricey.</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">And along those lines, kids are messy - there's no shame in most of their wardrobe coming from places like this! Day to day clothes are mainly hand-me-down's or from consignments and going out/church clothes are what we pay the "big bucks" for.</span></li>
</ul>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Carrier/Stroller</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I'd strongly suggest a carrier of some sort if your child is 30 pounds or under (can also do them with larger children but 30 sounded like a good mental cut-off to me). They're great for bonding and it makes maneuvering through airports/new places much easier. We have a mei-tai and it's AWESOME. Other carriers that people seem to love are Ergo's, Beco's, and Ring-Sling's. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">A stroller could be useful in an airport and for future family outings. They're still little, with little legs. Those 4 hours you have planned at the zoo? You'll end up carrying them eventually if you don't have something to put them in!</span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">First aid</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">You can pick up a pre-made kit or make one yourself! We made one with fun colors and band-aids. We made our main one and then mini ones for each vehicle and for on the go. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Ice packs for little boo-boo's</span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Go ahead and have a started kit of medicines</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Tylenol</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Motrin </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Sunscreen - visit </span><a href="http://safemama.com/cheatsheets/sunscreen/">http://safemama.com/cheatsheets/sunscreen/</a> <span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">for some good recommendations</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Thermometer</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Topical cream for bites</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Boogie Wipes! You'll thank me later</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Toothpaste (flouride free!) and a toothbrush - not really medicine but you get the picture</span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Diaper bag</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It doesn't have to be a diaper bag but you'll want something you can pack extra clothes, gear, and it will get spilled on/in and sticky. Diaper bags are great because they're made to sustain toddler abuse and spills. </span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Child proofing things</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">You may have already child-proofed for your home-study but if you haven't, plan on it! Even when they speak English and understand you, they'll still try to play in the formal dining room with your great-grandmother's china from 1917 - even if you're constantly watching them. </span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Potty seat!</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We have the one that sits ON the actual toilet and a little potty</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Some people hate the idea of his little separate potty but when you're busy making dinner, letting the dog out, on the potty yourself, etc. and cannot go help, it's nice to have something little enough for them to go to that they can manage alone. Even with a stool, Little Slick is still kind of unstable getting on/off the seat alone that's on the big potty.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Oh, don't forget that stool! You'll need it outside of the bathroom as well!</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">If not potty-trained - you'll need diapers/pull ups!</span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Toys</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Start small, especially if you don't know what they're actually interested in. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Mega-blok type toys seem to be a hit with most kids</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Stuffed animals - bonus if one looks like your pets or if they go along with a book</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Books - the cardboard ones are amazing, still not kid proof completely, but much better than thin paper (RIP The Hungry Caterpillar :sniffle:)</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">AND reading to your kiddo(s) is great for language acquisition and for future reading fluency :)</span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Play food/cooking materials</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Balls - seems simple, but kids love them!</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Bath toys!</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Don't forget that baby shampoo! We love Aveeno for our sensitive skin little one. </span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Outside toys </span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Tricycle - don't forget the helmet! If you make the helmet a habit early, it will be less of a fight later on :)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Sidewalk chalk</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Beach toys are useful anytime! We build dirt/mulch castles and dig all the time</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">More balls! Big, little, doesn't matter</span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Toys/books/entertainment for traveling or in the car</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Most parents let their kids watch TV, whether planning or not. If you're able to hold strong and not, more power to you. If you're like the rest of us, you'll likely let your newest addition watch a little, here and there. Go ahead and load up on some of YOUR childhood favorites or ones that you don't mind watching. I cannot tell you how many times I've realized that I'm still watching the show only to realize I put Little Slick down for his nap an hour ago. And little ones have little attention spans...but will quickly meltdown if you change from that show (that they were paying no attention to!)</span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Storage for all toys. And buy storage with room to spare as you'll collect more and more as you go!</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Food - fact of the matter you may be plagued with a picky eater or a child who has figured out the one way they can have control is by controlling what they swallow</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Goldfish - still haven't met a kid who didn't like them</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Organic fruit pouches - fruit and veggies in them? I'm in. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Fresh fruit </span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">When you buy bananas buy all levels of ripeness so they'll last longer</span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Many children coming from orphanage settings are used to something similar to oatmeal - you can do the packs or make your own packs! I use this recipe: </span><a href="http://www.stockpilingmoms.com/2012/09/homemade-instant-oatmeal-packets/#_a5y_p=611792">http://www.stockpilingmoms.com/2012/09/homemade-instant-oatmeal-packets/#_a5y_p=611792</a></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Fresh veggies (like broccoli, carrots, etc)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Little Slick has never refused rice in any form or fashion. I think it's a texture thing. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">You'll also need containers for all this or you'll be burning through ziplock bags super fast!</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">You'll likely want to be conservative at first with high allergen foods, just like with a newborn, especially if there is any sort of communication barrier. </span></li>
</ul>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>General hints: </b></span></div>
<div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Just survive the first few weeks at home. After that you can start to "hit it hard" with your routine.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">If they don't bathe everyday, it's ok. Babywipes can do wonders. I don't even know if I've mentioned it before but Little Slick had <i>severe </i>water trauma when we brought him home and we just did wipe downs for a few weeks (yep, I said weeks!) until he trusted us enough to bathe him. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Don't worry if they will only eat apple slices one day. At least it's healthy, right??? No, but seriously, it's ok. Try again at the next meal, or try again tomorrow. If it becomes frequent, then call your pediatrician. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">On that note, if adopting internationally, don't be surprised if you have trouble finding a pediatrician willing to meet with you before you bring your little one home. Pregnant women are given consultation type appointments where they can meet the doctor/staff - you likely won't be given that privilege. Ask around for recommendations. </span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Also be prepared to answer "unknown" on half of those new patient forms. </span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It's ok if they sleep with you. It's great for bonding. Do whatever you're comfortable with. Little Slick sleeps in his bed, in our room. We love it. </span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Your little one may not be used to being alone at night, may have nightmares, may just worry it's all a dream and you won't be there when they open their eyes. It helps when you're close by every time they open their eyes. Then you transition them when you're <i>all</i> ready. </span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Buy books/toys that encourage them to interact with you</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">If they attach to a lovey/stuffed animal/blanket - buy a back up!</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Even if they've never seen one before, they'll learn how to unlock your smart phone within 12.5 seconds of seeing it. Be prepared. And if you're super smart, you'll lay ground rules immediately on touching/not touching it. Go ahead and apply those rules to your laptop and the remote control. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">No, they're not a newborn but you will end up with bodily fluids on you within the first 6 weeks. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Bring another adult with you on your first outing. Especially if your first outing is the grocery store and your child is from an environment where they never had enough food - the grocery store is a very overwhelming place. You may need back-up. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Park close to the cart return at grocery stores - makes it a LOT easier. </span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">And make a "touch the car" rule of sorts for when loading/unloading so they know not to wander. It literally only takes a second for a child to step away and a car to zoom by. </span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">You don't have to share them (ok, you do with your spouse!). But seriously, tell grandma to back off. This new baby needs to learn that YOU are the Mama, they need to learn that YOU are their parent. They need to learn what a parent is. You give them food, you give them love, you give them <i>everything </i>they need (whether they need your help or not) for the first few months. Then slowly let grandma handle snack time, nap time, etc. You have to build that trust. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Teach them from day 1 how to properly interact with pets!</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Once they let you in, once they are receptive of your affection, never stop! Smother (ok, maybe smother is a strong word) them with kisses and hugs. They may have missed out on this prior to you. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">And don't ever be afraid to contact your agency for help with anything. </span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Have some other hints? Let me know and I'll add them :)</span></div>
</div>
Mrs.Slickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17603305212373454359noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169868785341234902.post-69997908748808221362013-06-26T16:36:00.001-07:002013-06-26T19:19:30.365-07:00Exactly one year ago today...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Exactly one year ago today we were making dinner. I was preparing the vegetables to be grilled and Mr.Slick was preparing the chicken. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The day before our paperwork had been received by our agency. The day before our consultant with the agency reminded us that every time she was calling, it wasn't any cause for concern or excitement necessarily. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Well, the phone rang. It was our agency. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7Xv4DRm6ZDiErKrOOTJFTwhJOPgO-VUjON1Ym9DJEGPXQ-AX63vVBHNST8mvN77em3u0QKeii0FoNMzvrNgvst66Y3xFw3JIH1akrzK25UYRl7qumQ4Tckjeq1H2dnsPoi4VGXap0FQk/s1600/Vlad+039+-+Copy.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7Xv4DRm6ZDiErKrOOTJFTwhJOPgO-VUjON1Ym9DJEGPXQ-AX63vVBHNST8mvN77em3u0QKeii0FoNMzvrNgvst66Y3xFw3JIH1akrzK25UYRl7qumQ4Tckjeq1H2dnsPoi4VGXap0FQk/s320/Vlad+039+-+Copy.PNG" width="213" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I put it on speaker so Mr.Slick and I could hear what was up. We figured they went though our paperwork and they needed something else. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">But she said something else...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">She said, "Well, I have some unexpected news. There's a little boy that I want to talk to you about. Do you want to see pictures?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We got THE call. THE CALL!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">While we dropped everything and were frantically trying to wipe away traces of dinner while simultaneously booting up the computer, she started reading off some information about him. She told us some good info and then said, "And his date of birth is June 26, 2010, so today is his 2nd birthday!"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We got THE call on his birthday!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">She gave us more information and then said, "The email has been sent. Call me back after you've looked over the information and pictures."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">And then we opened the pictures and saw the sweetest face we've ever seen. We saw Little Slick. We saw our son. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">You're told not to fall in love, not to get attached, but I just don't know how that's possible. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We called my parents first and told them the news and then forwarded them a few pictures. And then because we live close to Mr.Slick's family, we made an excuse to go over there under the guise of printing off more paperwork. We even got Mr.Slick's sister in on the act. While we were there, her family made a "surprise visit" over. We got the email pulled up, acted like we were calm and just printing, and then asked his parents if they wanted to see something. If they wanted to see who would possibly become their grandson. It took a few seconds but then the tears and hugs came. Tears years in the making. Tears we had all been waiting to shed. For the first time, we had happy tears in our family growing journey. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Happy birthday, baby. We celebrated your birthday in big ways that day, even though we were across the world and you had no clue. And I've loved celebrating with you today. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">And for anyone wondering: we completely forgot about dinner that night and had to throw it all out hours later when we finally got home.</span></div>
Mrs.Slickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17603305212373454359noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169868785341234902.post-74799221779842701182013-06-25T18:23:00.000-07:002013-06-25T18:23:59.570-07:00What a difference a year makes!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">One year ago today, we made a phone call. We were calling to make sure our dossier made it to our agency. We paid $44.67 in shipping to make sure it got there the next day, to make sure our precious paperwork was in the safe arms of our agency. The paperwork that would bring us you. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjRI4bvvZWiXfMwObwWy0LhiIht8b4FZ7zw9QzKDED9rqcdEHfUzBhBAbVWNV19WuG9pvispv8GolIIlCoQ7fo4gWnlYz3VLIApaZ0hFpV8o359le06RlLS_-iGLRu6qo0S0H8LmGt46U/s1600/Vlad+020.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjRI4bvvZWiXfMwObwWy0LhiIht8b4FZ7zw9QzKDED9rqcdEHfUzBhBAbVWNV19WuG9pvispv8GolIIlCoQ7fo4gWnlYz3VLIApaZ0hFpV8o359le06RlLS_-iGLRu6qo0S0H8LmGt46U/s320/Vlad+020.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">It took us approximately 6 weeks, 3 trips to the state capital to get documents apostilled, over 100 notarized copies of <em>original</em> forms, and lots of paper cuts to get this thing done. Little did we know that this over-stuffed 3 inch binder would bring our family together so soon!</span><br />
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Mrs.Slickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17603305212373454359noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169868785341234902.post-46096033125429607582013-05-15T20:59:00.000-07:002013-05-15T20:59:13.062-07:00I'm Yours<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Little Slick, I'm yours. And you are now mine. But you have not always been mine. You were born to another Mama, another family, another life. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">But as I look back on things, I think we have always been yours. God has been preparing me and Papa for you for much longer than either of us were aware. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">My favorite classes in college were Early Childhood Education classes that covered developmental milestones, delays, attachment disorders and bonding techniques. This is what the majority of our training was over for your adoption. During our post tests for some of our mandatory training, as soon as that first question appeared quoting BF Skinner, and later ones mentioning Piaget, I knew I had it. I knew I would ace that test and I did - without ever having to look over any of the prepared materials. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Your Papa has always had a fascination with Russian and Eastern European history...even before we ever dreamed we'd find our first baby in Russia. He knew war stories and fascinating tidbits even he seemed surprised to know/remember when we were walking around the city in Russia. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Even our families were preparing for you. Your great-grandfather (my mother's father), he once traveled to the city where the orphanage was; where we went to meet you, fall in love with you, and to stay with you before we brought you home. He has pictures, souvenirs and stories about where you're from. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">My mother? One of her very good friends used to travel to Russia frequently. She already had Russian dolls and intricate artwork in her house, things that when we visit Gigi's house we can see and marvel at with you. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">When we finally chose an agency we did so because of R, the woman who works for them who met with us at the informational session. She once worked for a different agency - the agency that my aunt and uncle used for their adoptions - the adoptions of my Russian cousins...and she was one of their consultants. She's helped bring 3 Russian children home for our family. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Papa's parents for some reason held onto his tricycle all these years. When we brought you home, we realized quickly that you loved anything on wheels and they pulled it down from their attic and brought it over. It's your <i>favorite</i> thing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Had we gotten pregnant our first cycle trying, my due date would have been late-June 2010. Your birthday is June 26, 2010. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Had we gotten pregnant on our first IVF cycle, my due date would have been late-June 2012. We received THE call from our agency on your birthday, June 26, 2012. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I think I've always been yours and I'm so glad that you're finally mine. My malyutka. </span><br />
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Mrs.Slickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17603305212373454359noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169868785341234902.post-79924187803453801872013-05-07T20:40:00.000-07:002013-05-07T20:40:27.040-07:00Dear Mama's who happened into motherhood via adoption...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The following link was shared with me on Facebook tonight and I absolutely love it. </span><div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Check out what Kathy has to say at: </span><a href="http://www.kathylynnharris.com/dear-moms-of-adopted-children/#comment-5425">http://www.kathylynnharris.com/dear-moms-of-adopted-children/#comment-5425</a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">She gives incredible insight without getting too wordy, as I sometimes do. She keeps it real but also keeps it <i>real for me. </i>I like it.</span></div>
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Mrs.Slickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17603305212373454359noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169868785341234902.post-17092338489740145502013-04-21T11:50:00.000-07:002013-04-25T19:48:22.233-07:00Join the Movement<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<b id="internal-source-marker_0.46026967046782374" style="font-weight: normal;"></b><br />
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.46026967046782374" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Today kicks off the start of National Infertility Awareness Week through the support and advocacy of <a href="http://www.resolve.org/" target="_blank">Resolve</a>. Join the movement and spread the word. Don't suffer in silence and don't settle. Not all pathways to parenthood are achievable, but there IS a pathway out there for you to be happy. Find your happy, for some that means making their baby, for others it means finding their baby, and for still others, it means choosing to close those doors forever. But, please find your happy. </span></span></b></div>
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.46026967046782374" style="font-weight: normal;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0Mg5DmL_rP73vp7QdAFTPycCl5PxkR9zssXhrhWJwjayE6dTEZFDle2GGO8OAU3Z8s-9GBu6zEwCQNEcT1wcEpw6ktKDj2cgWi5pyUOBS3dlUVs98Tg_IvuH7bZmiE1w7h00Tsbxlu5o/s1600/movement.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0Mg5DmL_rP73vp7QdAFTPycCl5PxkR9zssXhrhWJwjayE6dTEZFDle2GGO8OAU3Z8s-9GBu6zEwCQNEcT1wcEpw6ktKDj2cgWi5pyUOBS3dlUVs98Tg_IvuH7bZmiE1w7h00Tsbxlu5o/s1600/movement.jpg" /></a></b></div>
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.46026967046782374" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></b></div>
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.46026967046782374" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">In years past I referenced NIAW with blog posts and fb statuses about the longing to become a parent. This year, I'm on the other side. Some would say, that I've been cured of my infertility. </span></span></b></div>
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.46026967046782374" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></b></div>
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.46026967046782374" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">But have I been cured? </span></span></b></div>
<b id="internal-source-marker_0.46026967046782374" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /><span style="font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></span></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<b id="internal-source-marker_0.46026967046782374" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The cure for infertility is a baby, right? Little Slick is my baby, for sure and has definitely been the one to find the missing pieces of my heart. I don’t question that. </span></span></b></div>
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.46026967046782374" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">But am I cured? </span></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The answer is no, I’m not cured. I’m still infertile. It still hurts me that I’ll never be pregnant. It hurts me more than anything in the world that I missed out on those things with Little Slick. It stings when I get an unexpected pregnancy announcement - especially since those unexpected ones always seem to proclaim, “We weren’t even trying!” or “This one better be a girl, I already have 3 boys!”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It hurts when friends and family seem to forget and talk with me about how much they miss their pregnant bellies and the newborn stage with their babies. It hurts me when people absentmindedly ask me things like, “When will you have another?” or “I bet he’s ready to be a big brother!” </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Those things won’t come easy or at all for someone like me. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I don’t bear birth battle scars and stories. In the mothering world I am inferior in that aspect (some of you will be kind here and adamantly proclaim that’s false, but you are incorrect). I don’t remember that “newborn smell” or know what it’s like for him to look lovingly into my eyes while nursing, to which I sometimes want to yell, “Thanks so much for reminding me!” Someone else experienced those things with my baby. Someone who is a world away and I’ll never know. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I can't sanctimoniously post pictures like this on my Facebook wall. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">No, I don’t want to feel your baby kick. I didn't get to feel mine. I don't have those cool videos of him throwing a dance party in my belly and seeing the waves of the belly from the outside. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"> No, I don’t want to hear your pregnancy complaints. I'm sure it's terrible, and I really understand that parts of pregnancy aren't enjoyable - but please choose a different person to complain to. Please choose someone else who will understand, not someone who would give almost anything to have experienced that. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">What I want is for me to be able to give all that, all those experiences to Little Slick but I can’t. I can’t give him those things. They’re forever lost and never recoverable. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So, I’m not cured but I’m managing. I’m enjoying my life and my little one. I love him more than I love myself but I’m still sad that I’ve lost these things for him - just trust me here, in my twisted mind these things are somehow my fault. I’m less of a woman because I don’t have certain experiences but I’m just as much a mother. Biology is least of which makes a woman a mother. My body failed my husband and our embryos but my heart has picked up where those left off by allowing me to not be too jaded and still love my child entirely. I’ll never be cured of my infertility; it’s chronic and never ending. I will however, triumph in parenthood. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">For information about NIAW visit: </span><b id="internal-source-marker_0.46026967046782374"></b><br />
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.46026967046782374"><a href="http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/about.html">http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/about.html</a></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">For general information about infertility visit: </span><b id="internal-source-marker_0.46026967046782374"></b><br />
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.46026967046782374"><a href="http://www.resolve.org/infertility101">http://www.resolve.org/infertility101</a></b></div>
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Mrs.Slickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17603305212373454359noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169868785341234902.post-13709048465956368312013-04-17T22:00:00.002-07:002013-04-17T22:00:38.908-07:00He's got it goin' on, y'all.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Little Slick is amazing, in so many ways. We had our official post-placement visit done a few weeks ago and it went so well. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We were sent a list of questions to look over and reflect upon before our social worker's arrival and it was really good for us. We were forced to look back on our journey in detail. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">When we arrived at the orphanage to pick Little Slick up, he spoke zero English. Heck, he barely spoke Russian. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Part of our post placement paper work asked us to count his English words...we stopped counting at 152. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">That's right, 152 English words. He also strings them together to form simple sentences. I remember the first unprompted sentence he said (to Ryan), "You stay here, I go get mama" and he came and got me. He is even using descriptor words, "Ooooo big truck!" or "Mama! Lello cement truck, mama!" or "Red stop sign, STOP!" <i>He gets it. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">He can count to 10 with no assistance, even though every now and then one number will fall victim to 2 year old forgetfulness. He not only can count, he understands the concept of numbers. He knows the difference between 1, 2, or 3 buses on the road. He tells me when he sees 2 motorcycles opposed to just one. <i>He gets it. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">He knows colors and shapes. He can identify AND say: circle, triangle, oval, rectangle, crescent, pentagon, hexagon, and octagon (I'll admit - he does sometimes mix the last three up!). And not only that, he can draw circles and triangles. <i>He gets it. </i></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgloGVEPvq9rAUb0cmEy9Y0lJ-k1xfdJFLpF1w2YgWFbyWx5Iy7T2fIUq93jAUsEIBdAD2OK24q-aCmk_FAxOW4mONCynWVulatzfO3nJFB9QvU3KOedvNvX5VsjYLK7rgBunimrOFaxKo/s1600/triangle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgloGVEPvq9rAUb0cmEy9Y0lJ-k1xfdJFLpF1w2YgWFbyWx5Iy7T2fIUq93jAUsEIBdAD2OK24q-aCmk_FAxOW4mONCynWVulatzfO3nJFB9QvU3KOedvNvX5VsjYLK7rgBunimrOFaxKo/s320/triangle.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">He can do a forward roll. He can jump, he can balance on each foot, he can throw a football overhand. He can catch - barehanded and he's even done it once with Mr. Slick's old baseball mitt. He can ride his tricycle all day long. He rode over 2 miles on it this weekend, all at once. Athleticism, <i>he has it.</i> </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqtAOH0bdHI3IHposFTs9NzYYFaqUvm092GvdvTn1UaJgg38ldMeEOpU1LEXXqcOCvPlBw6QNo4atdisgN_cEeuyRJy_wJGvv-o_ot73Q_VbKNi-y6oAs8tiTfvbWfYOhjYeKPz-CUBtQ/s1600/cycle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqtAOH0bdHI3IHposFTs9NzYYFaqUvm092GvdvTn1UaJgg38ldMeEOpU1LEXXqcOCvPlBw6QNo4atdisgN_cEeuyRJy_wJGvv-o_ot73Q_VbKNi-y6oAs8tiTfvbWfYOhjYeKPz-CUBtQ/s320/cycle.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">He loves us. He loves Gunner. He has bonded with us. He knows WE'RE his people. This is his biggest accomplishment. <i>He gets it. </i></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxdxZulUI5N0huJrVZ6OUtsVXN5Os35XgnZQo80kz1nnJmG8t7uvOy3caL2CD-WH4BcJ6Si2k77gntIK2VEKVA2pltNwO1duIks5479On8Q2D_etp86ewmvAG_HIHT3DNqgmogyjX2pBU/s1600/cowboy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxdxZulUI5N0huJrVZ6OUtsVXN5Os35XgnZQo80kz1nnJmG8t7uvOy3caL2CD-WH4BcJ6Si2k77gntIK2VEKVA2pltNwO1duIks5479On8Q2D_etp86ewmvAG_HIHT3DNqgmogyjX2pBU/s320/cowboy.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Our shy boy is now only shy with strangers. He is eager to talk our ears off, eager for hugs, eager to know what everything is, and why. The single thing he's clinging to in Russian is, "Sto eta" or "What's this?" He always wants to know. <i>He wants to get it.</i> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We have been 100% diaper free for over a month now. ::does the running man:: <i>He gets it!</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">He not only runs to us for comfort, but he's comforting as well. When I accidentally fell, he ran to me, helped me up and said, "Awwww, mama. Sokay? Mama band-aid? Boom kiss?" Compassion, <i>he has it. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">My little man, he's got it goin' on. </span><br />
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Mrs.Slickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17603305212373454359noreply@blogger.com6