Last night Mr.Slick and I were laying in our backyard, enjoying the sounds and smells of spring on a warm night and our newly laid grass. There were fireflies lighting up the backyard as the sun went down and darkness settled in. With Gunner in the middle and the smell of our rosemary, sage, and tomatoes, life couldn't have been much better than it was right then and there.
We started discussing our trying to conceive struggles and I asked him why he though God gave us this challenge. His answer was because He knew we could handle it. Well I of course knew that but I wanted a deeper answer. We both decided it was perhaps so we could help others who will face this similar battle and to ensure we always were appreciative of our gift once given to us.
We also discussed dreams we had for our future children. Not like, they'll win the Nobel Peace Prize or become rich kind of dreams but that maybe in 5-10 years we would be doing that exact same thing with our children. Laying in the grass on a warm spring night, maybe with jars chasing fireflies. Maybe with a tent and flashlights while roasting marshmallows. Those kind of dreams. It doesn't seem like they'll ever be real but we're still clinging to our little strand of hope thrown at us. That little strand is our upcoming invasive treatments. To some they might not seem so little but that's what they are to us. Small chances at a family.
However small, they're real. They're a possibility and we'll cling to those little pieces of hope until we can't anymore.