I'm feeling left behind. I'm feeling left out. I am very grateful for all of my blessings in life but there is a hole in my heart.
Most of my friends have children. And I have, as of recently, started to receive less and less invitations to go out, hang out, and be around them. I've been told that they don't want to bore me with their (mother) conversations and children. I am not part of this exclusive mommy club. I have no stories to tell, no pictures to share in their baby fueled conversations. I listen and try to be supportive where I can but am often times given the look and even told that I don't know how hard it is as they complain about their lives and children. They're right, I don't know how hard it is and I have never claimed so but I want to. Maybe I'm too sensitive? I know they don't mean to hurt my feelings.
I've been trying to reach out and recently have made plans with my mommy friends. We all have fun but it's painfully obvious to me that I'm the only on in the room or wherever we are without a child(ren). Everyone leaves with their little ones and go back to my empty house. A house with an incomplete family.
But what gives me hope is knowing that my child is out there, perhaps even already born. A child that may have grown in another woman's body, but is growing in my heart.