May 27, 2012

Left behind.

I'm feeling left behind. I'm feeling left out. I am very grateful for all of my blessings in life but there is a hole in my heart. 

Most of my friends have children. And I have, as of recently, started to receive less and less invitations to go out, hang out, and be around them. I've been told that they don't want to bore me with their (mother) conversations and children. I am not part of this exclusive mommy club. I have no stories to tell, no pictures to share in their baby fueled conversations. I listen and try to be supportive where I can but am often times given the look and even told that I don't know how hard it is as they complain about their lives and children. They're right, I don't know how hard it is and I have never claimed so but I want to. Maybe I'm too sensitive? I know they don't mean to hurt my feelings. 

I've been trying to reach out and recently have made plans with my mommy friends. We all have fun but it's painfully obvious to me that I'm the only on in the room or wherever we are without a child(ren). Everyone leaves with their little ones and go back to my empty house. A house with an incomplete family. 

But what gives me hope is knowing that my child is out there, perhaps even already born. A child that may have grown in another woman's body, but is growing in my heart. 


  1. Slick, I'm sorry :[ I am in the very opposite boat, all of our friends are single, no kids. And they have all abandoned us for other single friends. We have no married friends, no friends with kids. So in a completely different sense, I know how you feel. You are one strong lady. Once you have your kiddo in your arms, nothing else will matter. Those women should not treat you like that. Its easy to have adult conversations that don't involve their children. If they are good friends, and don't want to "bore" you, they should find something else to talk about. <3

  2. OMG, this is how I have been feeling! I just posted in my blog about how I am finally feeling ok with things (ie being left behind, being an older mother, using meds in order to become a mother).

    Its very hard waiting when everyone around you seems to be starting a family so easily. ((BIG HUGS)) to you as you wait on your forever child.

    I agree with Desirae, that if they were really good friends, they would find a way to include you. I'm sorry they aren't putting out more of an effort. Yes, their lives might be chaotic and hard, but do they even think about how hard it is wanting a child so badly and it not happening? Its why you'll be such an awesome mom, hon, b/c you want it so bad you will take joy in the chaotic mess that motherhood is.