IVF #1 is negative

Beta came back negative. 


I have nothing else to say, as I don't know how to feel besides devastated. 


WTF appointment is next week.

Snuggle in little ones!

Yesterday (9/19) we transferred, what the embryologist called two perfect, textbook embies. Our beta is on the 28th! EEK! 

I'm dealing with a slight case of OHSS but as long as I don't get up/down too much it's not too bad. I am bloated, crampy, and am dealing with some shortness of breath but nothing unbearable. It will hopefully all be worth it. 

Here is a pic of one of our embabies: 

The quality isn't great since I was taking a picture of a print out but trust me, it's beautiful :)

We have 11 embabies!

We have 11 little embabies growing right now. 

Out of the 25 retrieved, 20 looked mature (came from mature follies), 16 were actually mature, 2 fertilized abnormally, 3 didn't fertilize and 11 are doing well. 

It's amazing that even with perfectly healthy eggs and sperm that are FORCED together under perfect conditions it's still not always a perfect outcome. Babies truly are a special and rare thing. 

The babysitter, I mean embryologist, will call me on Saturday with an update as long as nothing changes between now and then. We're still scheduled for a 5 day transfer for Monday. 

I'm still crampy but much better than I was yesterday. 

Cramps, I haz them.

Ouch. They retrieved 25 eggs today. Twenty-five. Yep, that's right. I have some epic cramps and slight bloating going on.

 I'm fine sitting or standing but transitioning between the two? Ouch. 

Oh and walking, another ouch. And going to the bathroom, also ouch. Except that I can't fully go. I can only go #1. That's right folks, I can't poo. (I think my mother would die if she knew I was talking about my poo, or lack thereof on the interwebs)

I have nothing to take for it here, not even enough ingredients for home remedies and don't feel comfortable driving. And Mr.Slick only got 3 hours of sleep last night so I sent him to bed about an hour ago. 

I feel if I could just go, then things would be about 87% better. But no, I can't go :(

Egg retrieval is tomorrow!

I triggered last night at 8:30 and the ER is tomorrow morning! I'm so excited. 


They saw about 20 mature follicles at my follie check yesterday and my E2 level was in the 3000's. 












Aaaaaand, that's it.

My kids.

In case it hasn't been mentioned before, I'm a teacher. My official title is 8th grade math teacher. So some assume I only teach math. 

But I teach much more. I teach my students to love math. I teach them to love each other and to love themselves. I teach them to be productive. I teach them to be proactive. I teach them to be better than they thought they could be and I teach them that they can always be better. I teach them that kindness is the only way to win (in my classroom anyway). I teach them to set their goals high and to never stop working for them. 

I teach them because I love to do this. I have always loved teaching and as my principal once put it so kindly, "Mama-ing them." I love to take care of them. I love to hear about their successes and help them find a solution to their failures. I love to support them when needed and be their cheerleader when no one else will. 

These are MY kids. I get a new batch every school year and watch them become someone else's kids the next. I love these kids. And they might be the only kids I ever have. That's why I will always give them my all. 

Lucky Socks (and an update!)

Check out my awesome new Lucky Socks! I had an amazing gift-er, Bonnie Sue :) I now have two pairs of adorable socks, one for my egg retrieval and the other for transfer! Here I am with one of each pair on: 

LOVE THEM!!!!!!!!!

Now my update: Nurse called today after my freaking early blood draw (ok, it was only at 7am - but that means I had to leave my house by 6:15, that's EARLY) and my E2 level was already at 256 after 3 days of Follistim/Menopur/Lupron! Woot Woot! For tonight and tomorrow night I'm actually being dropped from 150 of Follistim to 125 but keeping with the 2 vials of Menopur and 10 units of Lupron. I go in Thursday @ 7 for my first follie check and some more blood for the vampires - I mean nurses :)

Need to get something off my chest.

Do not tell me that God will give me a baby when He thinks I'm ready. 
Do not tell me to relax and it will happen. 
Do not tell me that I just need to pray. 


Do you really think that those things haven't crossed my mind? 


And what do you mean by, God will give me a baby when He thinks I'm ready? Are you insinuating that crack whores who leave their babies in dumpsters are more ready than I am? Are you saying that God thinks that child molesters and child beaters are/will be better parents than Mr.Slick and I? 


Please explain yourself here. I understand your intentions are not malicious but please think about what you are saying. 


God created a wonderful system. A scientific system of timing and chance. A system where all things must be 100% correct for a pregnancy to happen. Achieving pregnancy is a scientific process that God created for us. He does not decide who has sex and who doesn't, He gave us free will. I do think he can grant us a miracle, but I do not believe every baby made is a miracle in the religious sense, but more the "the stars are perfectly aligned tonight and we're both healthy" kind of miracle. If God only wanted certain people to have children, then why would sex be necessary? Why wouldn't he just give those specific people their perfect children? He created a perfectly beautiful world and perfectly beautiful scientific process but it's not perfect.

Woowoo! This cycle is a go!

My baseline was on Friday and it was great! 

• My lining was nice and thin at 3.11 :)
• My E2 level was nice and low at 43 :)
• My ovaries were nice and quiet :) 
• BUT! With a good AFC - we counted 25 or so itty bitties

Last night (Saturday) was my first night of stims. I dropped my Lupron dosage down to 10 units and added in 2 vials of Menopur and 150 units of Follistim. Mr.Slick was majorly uneasy at the thought of me doing three shots per night, lol. I don't know what we would do if HE had to do any shots!