Big news 'round these parts, y'all. Little Slick is in school. He's in preschool.
::cue tears::
Two weeks ago, we went shopping. We went shopping for a back pack, lunch box, thermos, the works. As we were looking through all the backpack options, I had to work hard to fight back tears.
1. My baby is going to preschool!
2. There was a time I never thought I'd get to experience these things, these things many forget are so precious.
3. He was ready.
When we brought him home I insisted on a daycare option that looked nothing like an orphanage. No large centers, no preschool type settings. I wanted warm and cozy in a house. I didn't want him to feel like I was taking him to another orphanage. He knows was true abandonment feels like, even if it just lasted that first day, I didn't want him to ever think I was leaving him like he had already been left.
Around March of this year I contacted a few places to put him on the wait lists. I knew it could take a long time for a spot to open up, especially since many of these places have had these children on their lists since their mother's found out they were pregnant. Much to my surprise, I received notification that there was a spot! And that spot was opening up on 10/29.
We got everything ready and I even took the day off from work so I could be the one to do drop off/pick up on his first day instead of our daycare provider. The night before I packed his lunch and he helped me write his name on his lunchbox and backpack. I successfully held in all tears that night.
The morning of, we drove to his new school and we talked about making good choices and listening to directions from our teachers and about all the new friends he was going to meet. He was so excited. We got there early so we could meet his teachers and he could check things out a little before everyone else got there. As we walked down the long hallway, I could feel the pip in his step but could also feel how tightly he held my hand.
His teachers are amazing and were very understanding when I explained, without too much detail, how he panics when he's hungry sometimes and he will sometimes hide food - just a few residual orphanage behaviors. They kindly told me that they'd make sure to be on the lookout for any signs of this and wrote down a few things I was saying. Being a teacher, I hated being that parent, but I've learned that there's nothing wrong with being that parent from time to time.
We saw his hook for his backpack and his cubby for his lunch and then it was time to go down to the cafeteria where all the kids gather in the morning. We walked back down the long hallway, his teachers asking him questions and him excitedly answering, but he still clung tightly to my hand.
They showed him where he was to sit when he arrived and he obediently sat down.
I knew he would. I knew he would remember this type of order and rules.
The other children started coming in and I went to give him a hug. He smiled so big, so proud, and gave me a big hug. But when I said I was going he asked, "But why don't you stay, Mama? Please?"
"I have to go but you can stay and play with your new friends all day and have fun with your new teachers!"
"Ok Mama. Will you pick me up later?"
"Yes malyutka, I'll be here later."
With another smile and hug from him I knew it was time for me to go. He was ready.
And I then took the 1st day of preschool walk of shame - the one where the Mama walks back to her car and doesn't even try to fight back her tears.
::cue tears::
Two weeks ago, we went shopping. We went shopping for a back pack, lunch box, thermos, the works. As we were looking through all the backpack options, I had to work hard to fight back tears.
1. My baby is going to preschool!
2. There was a time I never thought I'd get to experience these things, these things many forget are so precious.
3. He was ready.
When we brought him home I insisted on a daycare option that looked nothing like an orphanage. No large centers, no preschool type settings. I wanted warm and cozy in a house. I didn't want him to feel like I was taking him to another orphanage. He knows was true abandonment feels like, even if it just lasted that first day, I didn't want him to ever think I was leaving him like he had already been left.
Around March of this year I contacted a few places to put him on the wait lists. I knew it could take a long time for a spot to open up, especially since many of these places have had these children on their lists since their mother's found out they were pregnant. Much to my surprise, I received notification that there was a spot! And that spot was opening up on 10/29.
We got everything ready and I even took the day off from work so I could be the one to do drop off/pick up on his first day instead of our daycare provider. The night before I packed his lunch and he helped me write his name on his lunchbox and backpack. I successfully held in all tears that night.
The morning of, we drove to his new school and we talked about making good choices and listening to directions from our teachers and about all the new friends he was going to meet. He was so excited. We got there early so we could meet his teachers and he could check things out a little before everyone else got there. As we walked down the long hallway, I could feel the pip in his step but could also feel how tightly he held my hand.
His teachers are amazing and were very understanding when I explained, without too much detail, how he panics when he's hungry sometimes and he will sometimes hide food - just a few residual orphanage behaviors. They kindly told me that they'd make sure to be on the lookout for any signs of this and wrote down a few things I was saying. Being a teacher, I hated being that parent, but I've learned that there's nothing wrong with being that parent from time to time.
We saw his hook for his backpack and his cubby for his lunch and then it was time to go down to the cafeteria where all the kids gather in the morning. We walked back down the long hallway, his teachers asking him questions and him excitedly answering, but he still clung tightly to my hand.
They showed him where he was to sit when he arrived and he obediently sat down.
I knew he would. I knew he would remember this type of order and rules.
The other children started coming in and I went to give him a hug. He smiled so big, so proud, and gave me a big hug. But when I said I was going he asked, "But why don't you stay, Mama? Please?"
"I have to go but you can stay and play with your new friends all day and have fun with your new teachers!"
"Ok Mama. Will you pick me up later?"
"Yes malyutka, I'll be here later."
With another smile and hug from him I knew it was time for me to go. He was ready.
And I then took the 1st day of preschool walk of shame - the one where the Mama walks back to her car and doesn't even try to fight back her tears.
One day I'm going to get through one of your posts without tears. This wasn't the one :'-)
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